The Pain of Goodbyes: Numbness and Overcome

Have you ever experienced the excruciating feeling of saying goodbye to someone you deeply loved and knew you would never speak to them again? This article explores the emotional journey of such a farewell, drawing from personal experiences of love, loss, and healing.

The Searing Grief of a Heartbroken Numbness

Saying goodbye to the one you love, knowing that you will never speak to them again, can feel like the physical and emotional destruction of your very being. It is a scenario that makes you wish you could unlove, for the pain to cease, yet it is precisely that deep love that causes this unfathomable agony. I’ve been there, done that, and the feeling is indescribable—like having your heart and soul ripped out all at once. It's a raw, accute pain that can be overwhelming and consuming, especially when you've known and been with that person for a considerable period.

My personal experience was with a girl named Becky Barter from America, a love that was so profound, it felt as if I was missing a piece of my soul. She was more than just a love interest; she was everything to me, a support system, a constant. The juxtaposition of my love for her and the permanence of our separation created a void as large as the ocean. When she returned to America, the reality of our impending separation struck me with the force of a hurricane. Yet, I found myself growing numb to it, a defense mechanism to protect my heart from being utterly shattered.

A Reminder of Love and Life's Ironies

Fast-forwarding a bit, another goodbye that hit me profoundly was with my grand uncle, the wisest man I've ever known. This encounter is like a stark reminder of the fragility of life and the inevitability of parting ways. Grand Uncle, whose affection and support were unconditional, passed away in hospice, and I felt a profound sense of loss. I could have sworn that if I was ever granted another chance with another person, I would express my gratitude. Yet, the words faltered on my lips, and my emotions were as dead as the static I occasionally saw swirling in my peripherals. My lack of response and numbness were not only a defense mechanism but also a coping strategy to prevent being overwhelmed by the emotional weight.

The Power of Finally Feeling

It took time for the full impact of losing the one you love deeply to surface. For me, it was a strange journey of gradually cracking the emotional armor. Two years after the call with Becky that signified our permanent parting, I found myself standing on a bridge, hands gripping the stone railing, and head up towards the night sky. I screamed, letting out all the pent-up emotions that had been buried deep within me. It was a cathartic moment, a release of the unspoken, the unsaid, and the unexpressed.

Once I allowed myself to feel and release, the accompanying healing could begin. It took another two years to fully heal and move on. Overcoming the pain and managing to carry on with life is a testament to the resilience of the human heart. It's a process, an unending journey of finding the strength to feel again.

Through these experiences, I’ve learned that while the pain of goodbyes is never easy, it is essential to allow oneself to process and feel it. Only by embracing these emotions can we eventually begin the healing and moving forward. Whether it’s a love that didn't work out or a loss we have to endure, the journey of overcoming these moments is vital to personal growth.