The Eccentric Daleks: From Xenophobes to Enthusiasts

Often portrayed as cold, logical, and strictly xenophobic in the Doctor Who series, Daleks are, in fact, a complex race with a myriad of peculiarities and quirks. This article delves into the experiences and actions of some lesser-known and more eccentric Daleks, expanding the narrative of these iconic aliens beyond the usual storyline.

Luxurious Daleks: Exfoliation and Fun

Daleks, despite their xenophobic nature, are surprisingly fussy about their appearance. Their physiology requires them to frequently open their armor, allowing a glimpse of their surprising beauty regimens. This usually entails a vigorous exfoliation process, a behavior one Dalek lover on the internet humorously christened as 'Dalek exfoliation therapy.'

Some Daleks have even ventured off the beaten path, breaking free from the stark, singular focus of their lifestyle to experience the pleasures of life. A rare sighting of a Dalek wearing a lampshade on its head is a clear sign that this particular Dalek is embracing a more hedonistic existence, a behavior I jokingly referred to as 'Dalek intoxication.'

Dalek Doctors: A Mysterious Decision

Beyond their xenophobic agenda, Daleks have demonstrated a curious penchant for the medical arts. The strangest of these Daleks became a medical doctor, a decision that led to immediate cessation of operations among fellow Daleks. On the battlefield, while using a paddle on its plunger, this unusual Dalek blurted out in a characteristic exclamation 'Defibrillate! Defibrillate! Defibrillate!' This bizarre and humorous decision is often met with skepticism in the Dalek community.

Expatriate Daleks: The Quest for Change

Other Daleks have taken a more dramatic route, leaving their homeworld, Skaro, and seeking new worlds and new experiences. One such group realized they were living in the wrong era and decided to 'expatriate' themselves, a term that perfectly encapsulates their journey to different time periods and dimensions. One Dalek, who accidentally found himself in mid-19th century America, was on a mission to 'emancipate' individuals, offering a lighter side to the typical Dalek narrative.

Dalek Oddities: From Baristas to Monday Mornings

Traveling to more peculiar corners of the universe, we come across Daleks who have embraced professions outside their usual robotic domain. I once encountered a Dalek working at Starbucks, whose mission was to ensure caffeine flowed abundantly, an activity he dubbed 'Dalek caffination.' Another took on the role of managing a swimming pool, his mission being to 'chlorinate' the pool, ensuring the water was clean and refreshing. Both of these instances reveal the unexpected versatility within this race, beyond their typical exterminations.

Some Daleks have even pursued roles that test the boundaries of their original programming, culminating in the story of a Dalek who experienced a critical temporal rupture during the Time War, found himself in the 19th century, and encountered President Lincoln. This meeting led to a dramatic reevaluation of its existence, resulting in a renewed mission to 'emancipate' humanity, a turn that upends the typical Dalek agenda. This unexpected journey validates the idea that Daleks, like humans, can be surprisingly complex and capable of change.

The most enigmatic of all Daleks, however, is the one who not only breaks the mold of xenophobia and logic but also indulges in a combination of roles suited to a master of disguise. This Dalek, donned in a bowtie and fez, brandished a Phillips head screwdriver and declared a mission to 'impersonate' various individuals, showcasing an irresistible blend of audacity and humor.

Final Thoughts

The Daleks of Doctor Who are not just machines bent on annihilation. They are a diverse race with a rich, if quirky, history. This article has only scratched the surface of their eccentricities and adventures, highlighting a few among the countless stories that could be told. These tales of exfoliation, intoxication, defibrillation, expatriation, caffination, chlorination, and impersonation paint a vivid and humorous picture of the Daleks as a decidedly human – or perhaps post-human – race, capable of surprising deviations from their expected path.