Pulkit: A Deep Same-Sex Crush Remembered Through Time

Delve into the personal narrative of a lasting infatuation, tracing the journey from a shy, single-minded teenager to the realization that time has moved away the chance for a relationship. This story reflects on the complexities and heartaches of deep same-sex crushes, detailing a deeply felt but ultimately unfulfilled affection.

The Encounter and Early Infatuation

During May 2005, just a few days after joining the Swift Career Academy in Manimajra, Chandigarh, a chance encounter left an indelible mark. Pulkit Mlr, a well-built boy with a charming face, entered my sphere. His father, along with him, inquired at the reception. I was immediately smitten by him, longing for our paths to converge on the Java course that was about to start.

Pulkit's entrance into the Tally software course opened the door to my longing. Though I knew that Pulkit was too intelligent and outgoing for a geek like me, every day his image was a source of joy and pain as I looked forward to our classes.

During the two-month course, we interacted minimally, with our conversations limited to greetings and pleasantries. It was during these interactions that Pulkit revealed he had three girlfriends despite being just a few months past his 12th standard. My infatuation, already deep, was further intensified as I fantasized about a romantic relationship with him.

At the end of our course, I had to leave for my hostel in Chandigarh before him. Yet, I eagerly waited for him to join college, mirroring my own journey into my second year of engineering.

Persistence and Axing Expectations

For two years, from August 2005, I searched for Pulkit on Orkut, vain in my pursuit. Despite the disappointment of never finding him, I tried to reconnect, hoping for a chance to meet. Eventually, in 2007, he accepted my friend request, though we still never met in reality due to our differing cities. Pulkit's HR job in Noida further widened the gap, leading to occasional chats but no lasting meetings.

When Pulkit joined ICFAI for an MBA in 2008, I managed to find him on Google Talk, creating occasional brief conversations. In 2010, we met once for what seemed like a proper date, but his job took him around, and our meetings were never amicable. I continued to admire his pictures on social media, always gushing over his physique and personalities, though our times together were few.

A Common Affair and Current Status

Nine years after our first encounter, both now live in Gurgaon. Surprisingly, we have met only once since 2011, when Pulkit called to inquire about accommodation options. Our reunions were per my insistence, never the other way round.

Despite the span of years and the distance, I still send him greeting messages, hoping to remind him of the old times. Pulkit's marriage, though, has altered the dynamics; he now rarely responds to my messages. I am left with a mix of nostalgia and a bittersweet feeling, cherishing the memories while life moves on.

My experience narrates a common story of unfulfilled same-sex crushes, despite the power of infatuation and deep friendship. Time, however, can be the greatest healer, always altering our initial hopes and expectations.