Navigating Deception: How Narcissists React When Their Lies and Mistruths are Exposed

This article delves into the reactions of narcissists when confronted with evidence of their lies, cheating, and other forms of deception. Understanding these individuals' tendencies can help you navigate the complexities of such relationships.

Initial Reactions and Patterns

When caught in the act, narcissists often employ a series of defensive tactics aimed at deflecting blame or denying the behavior. These reactions are not uncommon in relationships but may take on a particularly nasty turn when confronted with proof of their actions.

Denial and Projection:

Narcissists frequently engage in denial, creating a narrative that makes the person confronting them appear the one with the problem. This can be particularly vicious and unproductive, making it difficult to forge a constructive dialogue. For example, a partner might say, "'VERY VERY NASTY! FULL OF DENIALS AND ATTEMPTS TO TURN IT ON YOU MAKING YOUR FAULT! Just kick em to the curb and walk away xxx.'

Distancing Tactics:

Another common tactic is the use of emotional distancing. This involves the narcissist attempting to isolate the other partner, making them feel like they are being blamed. Signs of this include:

Distance in communication, such as when their phone is on airplane mode or they are not available. No-shows during meetings or in-person interactions. Excuses for not being present, such as working or meeting a client.

Confronting Evidence of Deception

The core of this article is about the consequences of bringing up evidence of deception. Here are some case examples that illustrate the typical behaviors of a narcissist when faced with undeniable proof:

Case Study 1: Sexting and Excuses

Imagine a situation where a partner admits to sexting their ex-partner shortly after spending the entire day with you. This is a moment of undeniable deceit. Their response may be defensive, with a quick denial followed by a technicality:

“I point blank to my face denied ‘talking’ to them. Apparently I hadnt worded it right as he admitted he wasnt ‘talking’ to them he was messaging them. So he got me on a technicality. If I hadnt quoted said messages word for word he wouldve continued to deny the whole thing.”

Following this confrontation, the narcissist may escalate the backlash, including:

Telling the other partner to leave and take all their stuff. Breaking off the relationship, citing a lack of trust and privacy invasion. Ghosting or intentionally avoiding communication for months. No remorse, no apologies, and no explanations.

Lessons from the Case:

Do not expect narcissists to confess or admit fault. Proof can backfire, as narcissists may dismiss or discard the relationship. They can easily manipulate the situation when confronted.

Common Traits and Red Flags

Dealing with a narcissist can be challenging, and recognizing typical red flags can help you avoid falling into their traps. Some key indicators include:

Lack of accountability for their actions. Overemphasis on control and surveillance. Persistence in denying or minimising their behavior. Emotional manipulation to shift the focus.

One good detective tip is to look for suspicious names in phone contacts. Narcissists often use coded names or fake contact information to avoid detection.

Conclusion

Dealing with a narcissist requires a nuanced understanding of their behavior. Recognizing the pattern of denial, projection, and emotional manipulation can be critical in separating your own feelings from their deceptive tactics. Remember, communication and evidence play crucial roles, but ultimately, the decision to continue the relationship should be founded on your safety and well-being.