Healing from Narcissistic Abuse: Relearning True Love

When you've experienced the intense emotional and psychological torment of narcissistic abuse, finding your way back to love may seem impossible.

Yet, like any journey, it's not as complicated as it may seem. With your True Self and Higher Consciousness as your guides, you can embark on this transformative process. The key lies in embracing discomfort, practicing self-compassion, and truly loving others through even the toughest moments.

Reconnecting with Your True Self

Your True Self is the core of your being, the part that knows love is more than conditional affection or manipulative control. It's essential to reconnect with this part before you can truly love again. Start with simple mindfulness techniques:

Deep Breathing: Take a breath deep into your belly. Feel the spaciousness and relaxation it brings. Ask yourself where the discomfort comes from and whether you can welcome it with openness.

Curiosity and Awareness: Use your breath as a starting point for self-reflection. Be curious about your inner world.

Embrace Discomfort: Accept the discomfort that arises. Recognize that it's part of the healing process. Who is the one doing the accepting? Who is the one offering comfort?

Acknowledging Emotional Pain

Relearning to love after narcissistic abuse isn't just about learning new techniques. It's about acknowledging the pain and the trauma you've endured. Here’s how to face and process this pain:

Activation Energy: Recognize the familiar aches in your chest. Acknowledge the discomfort without judgment.

Self-Care Actions: Turn distractions into self-care. Instead of reaching for your phone or numbing yourself, practice mindfulness. Did you wake up at 4 in the morning with anxiety? Instead of reaching for distractions, practice deep breathing and grounding techniques.

Emotional Processing: Allow yourself to feel. Old grief and shame may surface, but pushing them away only prolongs the healing process. Let yourself experience the emotions and accept that it's okay to cry.

Practicing Love through Suffering

To truly love someone, you must be willing to experience suffering. This doesn’t mean suffering should be welcomed, but it does mean acknowledging that suffering is a part of the journey:

Softening into Love: Even when the person triggers you or acts in ways you find repulsive, extend love towards them. Soften into a place of understanding.

Forgiveness and Reconnection: After suffering, give yourself the chance to forgive. Once you've passed through the pain, open your heart again. It’s about accepting their imperfections and still finding joy in their presence.

Practice Love at Home: Just as you need to practice your tennis strokes before playing in Wimbledon, practicing love at home is crucial. Whether it's through meditation, journaling, or simply being present, make time for self-reflection and love practice.

Embracing Vulnerability and Openness

True love requires vulnerability and openness. It means remaining present with all the emotions and experiences, good and bad:

Compassion and Understanding: Be compassionate with yourself and the person you're trying to love. Acknowledge that they are human and flawed, just like you.

Resilience: Embrace resilience. Each step forward is a victory over the past.

Forgiveness: Ultimately, forgiveness is liberating. It frees both you and the other person from the past mistakes and allows you to move forward.

Healing from narcissistic abuse is a journey, not a destination. It takes time, dedication, and a willingness to face your fears and challenges head-on. With the guidance of your True Self and Higher Consciousness, you can begin to relearn true love and forgiveness.