Growing Up with a Horror Phobia: The Scary Movies I Wasn't Allowed to Watch

From Dracula to Heaven's Creatures, exploring the eerie side of early childhood and the horror films I was forbidden to see.

From Dracula to Grizzly: Early Exposure to Horror Films

My fascination with horror began even before I knew the term. At an early age, I was not allowed to watch Dracula, a film that has long haunted my childhood memories. However, due to the gentle nature of my grandmother, who was less strict, I managed to persuade her to let me watch it. Despite her leniency, the film remained a distant memory until much later.

Much to the amusement of my siblings and myself, my parents took us to the drive-in theater to watch Grizzly (1976) when I was just 9 years old, and my sister was 6. The memory of the bear slapping the horse’s head off and us giggling on the deck is one that remains vivid. The film is a perfect example of the early, often comedic, horror tales that defined my childhood.

Childhood Horror: The Exorcist and True Stories

The horror didn't stop there. Despite being old enough, my parents still didn't allow me to watch The Exorcist. While the film had its place in my generation's zeitgeist, it was too daunting for me to face until later in life. Interestingly, while researching the film, I stumbled upon the ending of the 1994 adaptation of Heavenly Creatures. This film, though not as well-known as its cinematic peers, left a deep impression on me due to its graphic and brutal narrative.

The Damien Trilogy: A Spine-Chilling Experience

Damien Omen II marked a particularly terrifying period of my youth. Released around 1988, this film was so eerily real that it terrified me for months. It didn't help that my friends discovered my middle name, Damien, and began searching my head for a 666 tattoo. The ways that characters in the film met their gruesome deaths were particularly unsettling, ranging from drowning under ice to decapitation by a cable stop in a lift.

Some of the scenes, such as ravens pecking out a woman's eyes, followed me long after the film concluded. The blend of grit and intensity made these movies particularly scary, especially for a 11-year-old me. It was a time when the line between reality and fiction was dangerously blurred.

The Damien Omen trilogy remains a part of my childhood nightmares, a mix of fascination and horror that has stayed with me for decades. These films are now regarded as cult classics, but their impact on me back then was profound and lasting.

As I reflect on these experiences, it's fascinating how time and perception have shifted. What used to be frightening can now feel quaint in the face of modern horror. But some images, like those of Heavenly Creatures, still linger in the mind, a haunting reminder of the fear and innocence of childhood.

Through the lens of nostalgia, these films represent a unique era in horror; one that was both beloved and despised, thrilling and terrifying. Growing up with these forbidden fruits, I learned not just to appreciate the boundaries of horror but to understand the lasting impact it can have on the mind.