Understanding Scapegoating and Its Impacts on Family Dynamics

Dealing with a family member who won't stop harassing you can be an incredibly challenging experience. It often leaves many feeling isolated, perplexed, and even like a scapegoat. To navigate this difficult situation, it's crucial to understand the concept of scapegoating and consider the best course of action to take.

What Does It Mean to Be a Scapegoat?

A scapegoat is a person or group who is blamed for wrongdoing or is perceived as the cause of problems, despite not necessarily being responsible. Being a scapegoat is often a result of vulnerabilities such as appearance, social status, personality, beliefs, religion, or race. Vulnerability makes an individual an easy target for blame, leading to a cycle of negative interactions.

Example of Scapegoating

Consider a family where one member, let's call them Alex, is often accused of being rude without any basis. This can create a cycle where Alex becomes a scapegoat for the family's frustrations. Even when Alex is not at fault and merely expressing curiosity, the family members continue to target Alex for their perceived shortcomings.

Who Becomes a Scapegoat?

The individuals who are most likely to become scapegoats are often those who are perceived as vulnerable. These could be members of the family who are younger, differently-abled, or have a unique appearance or personality. They might also include individuals with specific beliefs or backgrounds that differ from the rest of the family.

What Should You Do When a Family Member Won't Stop Harassing You?

The first step in addressing the issue is to assess the nature of the harassment. It could be a form of abuse, like emotional or psychological harassment, which can be very damaging. If you are living at home, and if the situation escalates to the point where you feel unsafe or if it is happening repeatedly, it's crucial to take legal action and report it.

Stalking, even within the comfort of a family, is a serious crime under the law. It's important to remember that stalker behavior is a sign of psychological issues and should not be tolerated. If you are being stalked by a family member, seek legal advice immediately and consider contacting local law enforcement.

Open Communication - A Key to Resolution

Opening a dialogue can be a powerful tool in resolving conflicts within the family. Have a round table talk with the family member, expressing your feelings and asking why they assume or cause you undue distress. Sometimes, the harasser may not be fully aware of the negative impact of their actions.

For instance, consider a situation where your granddaughter misinterprets your questions about her appearance as rudeness. In such cases, it's important to address the underlying issues. Try saying, "I care about you and want to help you feel better. Could you please explain why you feel uncomfortable when I bring up certain topics?"

Seeking Professional Help

Depending on the severity and nature of the issue, seeking professional help may be necessary. If the harassment is ongoing or if you feel unsafe, consider speaking to a school counselor, therapist, or a legal professional who can offer guidance and support. There are helplines available that can connect you to resources and provide confidential advice.

Even if the situation is not severe, it's important to maintain a balanced perspective. Accept your family members for who they are and cherish their positive traits. At the same time, acknowledge that you may have differing views or lifestyles, which is perfectly normal.

In many cases, the situation can improve as you grow older and mature. Family dynamics often change, and as you become an adult, your ability to handle contentious situations may improve significantly.

Conclusion

Dealing with family harassment and scapegoating requires patience, empathy, and a willingness to communicate. By understanding the dynamics at play and taking decisive steps, you can work towards creating a healthier, more supportive family environment. Remember, you are not alone, and help is available to assist you through the process.